About Marianne
Marianne Merritt Talbot, Esq. is a lifestyle and career coach and the Executive Director of Modern Venus Ltd.   Through coaching, programs and other services Marianne and Modern Venus Ltd.  provides women with tools and inspiration to live lives of greater success, glamour and generosity.   

A former lawyer and professor, Marianne truly understands the complexity of a modern woman’s life, and to that end, she loves working with clients who want to do more, be more, and experience more.    

Marianne’s column here at Real Beauty Is is designed to give you tools that you can put into effect today to make positive and beautiful changes in your life!

For more about Marianne, please visit
 

http://www.ModernVenus.net/bios.html

Latest Entry

5 Tips to Keep You Energized on the Job

Ever feel like you are about to keel over at your desk from exhaustion? Perhaps you are putting in a lot of hours, perhaps you extended the post-office happy hour a little too long, perhaps you simply slept badly. Here are a few tips how to keep your energy up, day in and day out.

1. You know the drill: drink water. Mild dehydration can slow down your metabolism as much as 3%, and is also the number one reason for daytime fatigue. Last but certainly not least, a mere 2% drop in your body’s water level can cause fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on your work. So drink up – and if you want to add flavor and nutrients, try decaffeinated green or herbal tea or add a flavored vitamin supplement like Emergen-C.

2. Stretch! Stretching brings oxygen to your brain and assists in waking you up. Stretching also releases stress that may be stored in your muscles Last but certainly not least, stretching assists in removing toxins from your body’s tissues. Stretch your arms, legs, do head rolls, stretch your wrists and fingers, bend down and touch your toes as you let your head hang heavy. Doesn’t that feel great?

3. Organize yourself: keep your desk clutter-free, your task list constantly updated, and your files in order. Nothing can zap your energy or make you feel overwhelmed more than looking around a disorganized office.

4. Add color to your surroundings: that can include the color of your files, the shade of your office walls, the hue of the scarf you decide to wear. Nothing is more boring than the ubiquitous beige, white and tan office décor, is it? Liven things up.

5. Plan some adventures or volunteer to help someone else: start making arrangements for an amazing getaway, design a beautiful decadent dinner party, volunteer to run a toy drive for the holidays. When you get tired, spend a few minutes to make such plans and give your brain a work break. Return to your tasks revived and inspired!

Previous Entries

Is it time for you to Detox?
 

Are you tired of feeling tired? You look in the mirror and all you can see are rings under your eyes and you notice more lines in your skin each day. You try to eat well, but you find yourself at Starbucks more than you’ll admit, and you realize the only vegetable you’ve had in the last two days was in the spinach-and-cheese croissant you bought at the bakery. You're gaining weight and you don't know how to stop it - what should you do? Now is the perfect time to do a cleanse and yes, you can fit it in your busy schedule.

Today our bodies are inundated with toxins at a rate that we cannot process. The Environmental Protection Agency reports that the average American consumes 4 pounds of pesticides a year. Human bodies have never had to handle that challenge before. We have residues of over 400 toxic substances in our bodies. What do these chemicals do to us? They poison us slowly. And then it's not surprising that we have such a difficult time with our health!
 

A cleanse does not mean that you fast (i.e., entirely abstain from eating food, most famously used by Beyonce to lose weight on the Master Cleanse fast). So whereas fasting is based upon giving the body nothing so that the toxins are forced out, cleansing is based upon feeding the body with the tools to clean itself. A cleanse is perfect for working women, because you can do it while you continue to work and live your active life!

Elegance is Refusal

Save your Schedule from energy vampires!
 

A recent report issued by the United Nations confirmed what many had already suspected: Americans now work longer hours than their colleagues in any other industrialized country - including Japan! For the lives of modern women, this translates to even longer hours and harder work. Not only do we work long hours at our jobs, but we typically shoulder greater responsibilities when it comes to home and childcare tasks. During my prior career as a litigator, I found that my "to do" list went on endlessly, and the more I looked at it, the more exhausted I felt. The feeling that I had so many things to do depleted my energy and mental resources, and left me feeling perpetually depressed and demoralized.
 

Many of my clients come to me with those feelings of overwhelm - how can they fit everything into their days and still have time to rest, revive, and enjoy themselves? Was it an impossible goal?
 

Therefore, one of the first things I do with new clients who are experiencing such feelings is to ask them to create an "Elegance is Refusal" list, coined after a quote attributed to Coco Chanel. This exercise is designed to have clients identify the energy drains in their lives, because many of them are not aware of the myriad of energy vampires included in their schedules. An "Elegance is Refusal" list can include, of course, the regular suspects (work pressure, conflicts with supervisors, long commutes, paying bills, etc.), but can also include items one might not automatically think of, such as:
 

• Keeping an "open door" policy at work, which can leave one feeling perpetually at the behest of everyone;

• Reading depressing news headlines or listening to the local news in the mornings and evenings;

• Using old and decrepit cosmetics;

• Subscribing to too many online retailers which flood your mailbox with incessant promotions;

• Having disorganized and overloaded handbags and wallets;

• Dusty, dirty and/or cluttered offices;

• Workspaces devoid of color or personality;

• Piles up of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink;

• Using threadbare linens and bath towels;

• Not taking the time to move your body in any intentional or reflective way
   

As you can see from this short list of examples, many of these kinds of energy drains are easily handled once identified. Taking a short walk every day that is intentionally designed to give you space to think, buying new towels for home, adding flowers and jeweled-framed containing pictures of loved ones to your office, taking the time to de-clutter your workspace and handbag, etc., can be done with a little effort and can result in surprising new pockets of energy. In particular, taking the time to really make your workplaces more organized and colorful can make a huge difference, particularly because we spend the majority of our lives in them.

Thinking of your office as an extension of your home and investing some time and a little money in the space is one of the most important things a woman can do to improve the quality of her days. Last but certainly not least, try to stop reading salacious news headlines and receiving your mail from sensational sources (my favorites are National Public Radio, the New York Times and the Washington Post).

An "Elegance is Refusal" list can also assist you in figuring out what you might be able to delegate to others at little or no cost. For example, a dear friend of mine is paying the daughter of a neighbor a small sum to have her pick up her dry-cleaning and walk her dog. My husband (usually) cheerfully takes care of the dishes in the sink when he sees how much happier it makes me not to have to deal with them. Creating such a list is a first step in reclaiming time and energy, so have fun with it, knowing that by doing so, you will give yourself more peace of mind.

Walking For Peace of Mind
 

Many centuries ago, Hippocrates (460 BC - 377 BC) stated: "Walking is man's best medicine." I firmly believe that to be true and recommend a walking practice for all my clients. Walking is not only really good for your body, but it taps into your innate brilliance and creativity. Regular walking decreases risks of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, stress, and high blood pressure, and induces better sleep, increased energy, and a sense of empowerment. Indeed, walking rivals tai chi, yoga and medication as an effective mindfulness practice.

What I love best is that adding a walk to your day does not require joining an expensive gym or investing in workout clothes or equipment -- all you have to do is get up and go. When I used to commute daily on the subway to my law office in midtown Manhattan, all the activity and sounds and jumble of people kept my brain distracted and flustered. I learned how to clear that fluster and distraction by hopping off the subway a few stops early and walking to my office. On these walks, I came up with amazing ideas and thoughts and inspiration, and it also centered and grounded me for the day. I visualized my day at the office, thought through my "to do" list, contemplated how to handle certain situations, and also percolated ways that I would make my days pleasurable amidst the stress. I would occasionally stop to buy flowers and/or a nice cup of coffee, and I would enjoy this time set aside just for me.

Walking in nature is even better -- it connects you to trees, grass and nature, to Mother Earth's grounding energy, and can soothe your mind and nerves. I'm lucky enough now to live near a beautiful park where I walk nearly every day, but you can find little spots of nature anywhere -- you just have to look for it.

A great add-on to your walk is to bring a notebook with you (Barnes & Noble have great little ones for less than $5.00). You never know what kind of great ideas you'll have and will want to record as you move your body and energy, or what other bits of inspiration you'll come across as you're out and about!
 

5 Ways to Make Your Office Your Sanctuary

1. Every evening before you leave, take 2-5 minutes to organize and de-clutter your desk (even it simply means putting paperwork in organized piles) and update any task lists. When you return to your office the next morning, you will feel more calm and in control, and you don't have to waste energy trying to figure out where you left off the day before.

2. Prepare a list of enjoyable things you can do during breaks to recharge (since during particularly stressful days we can entirely forget how to have fun) - and make sure you take some time every day to do at least one of them! This list can include: closing the door to your office and taking stretching and/or dance breaks, writing personal notes to friends (keep cards and stamps in your office for this purpose), research your next vacation, make a donation to your favorite charity (it feels great to spread good karma when feeling cranky or stressed), make a call to a friend or family member simply to say "I love you." Find more ideas

3. Add color and personal touches to your office décor. This can include buying flowers for yourself on a weekly basis, adding art, pictures, pillows, rugs and lamps (to cut down on the glare from fluorescent lighting) - whatever makes you feel good when you look at it. You spend the majority of your waking life in your office, so take the time to make it comfortable and lovely.

4. Use aromatherapy to increase energy and focus, and to decrease stress. Keep a stash of essential oils (you can find them easily at natural food stores and you can also order excellent quality oils from www.youngliving.us) in your desk drawer and take a moment every once in a while to enjoy their scent. Some favorites:

* Peppermint: stimulates the mind, calms nerves, and can aid in focus.
* Lavender: the classic scent for relaxing and winding down, and also has balancing properties that can boost stamina and energy.
* Lemon and Orange: citrus scents have strong and purifying aromas that are revitalizing and uplifting.
* Rosemary: an energizing oil, it is beneficial for helping to restore mental alertness when experiencing fatigue.

5. Keep plants in your office: not only do they add beauty to your space, but they may actually clean the air and can add humidity to your office environment. In fact, one study by NASA discovered that common houseplants can actually convert chemical air pollutants into harmless substances. Excellent plants to add to your office, in particular: ivy and chrysanthemum. Another excellent investment? An air purifier.
 

Stop putting yourself down!

I also can be self-critical - so the most important thing in stopping putting yourself down is to . . . stop putting yourself down and instead start PRAISING yourself every day, all day long! I recommend for my clients, for example, that they start a "Why I am Fabulous" journal that they write several SPECIFIC things in it before they go to bed. Or that they carry it around. So when negative thoughts pop up, they write down - I am fabulous because (for example):

(a) I am wearing amazing shoes and my favorite Gucci perfume today;
(b) I bought a meal for a homeless woman; and
(c) I made a delicious good lunch of grilled asparagus and goat cheese that I brought to work!

See, it's about being specific. Stopping all the negativity takes re-wiring your brain CONSTANTLY - just like going to the gym takes regular workouts to see physical results.

Finding the beauty in yourself, inside and out, helps quiet the voices in our heads that are so self-critical. :) xox
 

DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS DESCRIBE YOU?


1. You feel as if your career is stuck in a rut and you're not sure how to move forward.

2. You feel as if your look is also stuck in a rut and you aren't feeling great about yourself -- where did your formerly fabulous self go?

3. Your personal and/or intimate relationships are not as fulfilling or fun as you wish they would be.

4. You don't feel you have enough time or energy to do the things you truly love and enjoy.

5. You feel burned out and overworked, and you want to make changes now. But where to start?

6. You're not sure what you want to do with your life, but this isn't it!

* * * *

If any of the above statements describe you, then you're in luck! Modern Venus Ltd. has programs to get you out of your ruts and get you on the road to feeling more successful, fabulous, energized and creative.